The First Few Weeks

The first few weeks or months is a time where you learn to live without the presence of your child.

If your child was a baby or had a medical condition that required regular care you may try to keep doing those things for weeks or months after your childs death. I woke up at 3am every night for 9 months after my son passed away because that was his feeding time. It is a painful reminder but it is a completely normal action. Your life revolved around taking care of your child and when your child is taken from you it is a shock. Your mind says "This needs to be done" and will continue to remind you.

If family and friends offer to make meals, do your shopping, or clean your house let them. You are trying to be strong but any assistance is helpful.

Driving may be an issue for the first few weeks or months. It is not uncommon to start crying or day dreaming at random times. If you are daydreaming a lot then it would be a good idea to not drive at all if possible. If you are driving and you start crying pull off the road at the next safest location and wait until you gain your composure.

Some parents leave their childs room alone once they lose their child. Others remove all signs of their child from view. There is no right or wrong thing to do. If it makes you feel better leaving their room as it is then do that. If the sight of your childs things is too hard to bear then pack them away. I do recommend keeping some or all of their items. It is better to keep a box of their things packed away than to turn around years from now regretting that you threw everything out.