The First Day

The day you find out your child passed away is full of emotion. There is confusion, sadness, anger, and feelings of failure. All of these emotions are normal.

In some cases such as SIDS, accident at home, or other causes outside of medical related conditions you will probably be visited by your local police. They will conduct an investigation surrounding your childs death. Do not feel like they are targeting you and trying to arrest you. There are so many cases of child abuse and neglect they need to rule out these causes. Answer any questions they have as best you can. If you did not abuse your child then you have nothing to worry about.

Once you get home or the police leave your house is a really hard time to get through. You will cry until you cannot physically or emotionally cry anymore. You will probably sit there not knowing what to do. My answer is to do what you feel like doing. It is ok to watch tv or a movie. It is ok to read a book. You are not any less of a parent if you turn to something to try to keep your mind busy. Many times you will turn on the tv and watch it for say 10 minutes and then turn it off and start crying again. During this time do not think ahead days or weeks. Just focus on what you are doing the next 10 minutes or next hour.

For some the thought of being alone the first few days is scary. If you have friends and family offering to stay with you or for you to stay with them for a while and you are fine with this then do it. If you need their companionship and they haven't offered then ask them. On the other hand, if you would rather be alone for the first few days let them know that also. There is no right or wrong thing to do. Do what you feel is necessary for your healing.

If you have other children in the home you may want to call a friend or relative to pick them up for a few days. This is not a bad thing. Depending on your situation you may need to have some time to yourself to grieve without the presence of other children especially if they are younger. On the other hand you may feel you need to have your other children with you and grieve together. Do what you feel is necessary. Friends and family could watch your other children for a week, a night, or even just take them out to eat for a few hours. People around you want to help though many times they dont know what to do to help you.

TL:DR

You will be an emotional mess.

Police may investigate the death but dont let this worry you. It is something they have to do with all cases.

You are not a bad parent if you try to entertain yourself with tv or books. Do what you need to get through the day even if it is just an activity for 10-15 minutes at a time.

Family and friends are there to help. Ask them for help even if they dont offer. Many people just dont understand what to do to help you so they dont ask.